Cut

“In the cloud, reflections mirror reflections, cutting out the object and leaving only infinite emptiness.” 
Joseph MacKinnon

~

My hand was in yours. Your hand was in mine. And there was a moment where I didn't know which was which. Then, the moment was gone, and another one came. It was the moment of separation, slowly tearing the pages of the book we wrote in our minds, pages about the dreams that we carried in our hands, interlocked. Yet, right before that second moment ended, time froze. Time froze with the tips of our fingers barely touching and I knew that a blink later I'd be falling off your side of the edge like drawings of sands made of demons while you'd be falling, over and over, in water-drops, off mine, like an imagined suicide scene on playback.

But time froze because it knew we were timeless. And it just sat there on a dusty chair that had 'Faith' carved on its back, watching the motionless picture of Fear's sword of Doubt pointed at Love's heart of Hope.

Cut.

~

You're not supposed to be in the audience. You're not supposed to be in the audience. You're not supposed to be in the audience, watching an ego disguised as reason taking up the role of the lead actor. You should know that this podium is not only set for a grand masquerade where the truth doesn't matter. It's set for anyone who has something genuine to say. And everything you see on stage is but a staged symbol, a moderately hidden clue for what's going on behind the scenes. So get up and come inside for it is in the dark curves of your mind that you find the scriptwriters. And when you do, it will neither feel nor smell good back there because all your lies, fears and insecurities dwell in the ego's lair, fueling your quest for a nonexistent power. Maybe, just maybe, one day you'll find it in you to write your own script, your own lines instead of lying yourself to sleep.

~

And so we spend the time that wastes us and write stories that erase us. Then time just vanishes because the shame leaves no place for any other concept but disgust. And they stare blankly at the conscience that died with its mouth open and its eyes gouged, screaming two simple words for the child that ran away into the horizon, Come Back.

~

Once, in a nonexistent time and twice, in a place of delusion, a child ran into his reflection in the mirror and broke it. Both were running to find themselves but what they found was something else. The boy in the mirror found a broken hourglass of sand and water, drowned in mud. And the boy with blood on his face found an open locket with an empty picture frame and a clock that's always stuck at dawn. Each paced around in his room in recurrent patterns of confusion between the definition of a curse and the 'nondefinition' of a curse. And as they walked through life, the pieces of glass wrote, with blood and footprints, tainted puzzled words and painted worded puzzles. They met again, and again, in different colors and shapes, on the surface of other people's eyes. And many mirrors were broken twice, and twice, again.

~

Whether you break mirrors because you can't see yourself in them or polish them because they withhold the truest lies you've ever written, know that you are neither of the elements of the inner fight, nor are you the sum of the broken mirrors.

You're that person still sitting in the audience, alone.

~

“Love art in yourself, and not yourself in art.” 
Konstantin Stanislavski

Stranger

“The pain started years ago, but I'd lived with it for so long at that point that I'd accepted it as an inevitable part of me.” 

Ashley D. Wallis

~

She couldn't understand it, that small and very simple statement: 

He's in love with someone else. 

I told her that people are free to fall in love with whomever they choose, that she needs to stop fighting so that he can find peace and happiness. She said she couldn't stop thinking about him and I told her that I totally understand what she's going through and that things always get better in time. Then she asked me why he would stop loving her. And I froze for a second because I had a flashback and then I answered her in the best way I knew.

"People change all the time. They develop new feelings for new people. The downside here is that he changed and you didn't. The upside is that you will too in the near future. And if you want to look at it from an ideal perspective, the old him still loves you, and one day, the same will apply to you, when this you becomes the old you. Then all the moments you can't get out of your head, all the nights you spent thinking about him, all the beautiful daydreams and whatever songs or movies remind you of him, they'll become distant memories that rarely ever visit you. But when they do, they'll draw a faint smile on your face accompanied by a tender blink and a downward gaze and when that happens, you'll see that the old you was very lucky to love and be loved by the old him."

I went on and on but she was not convinced. And I knew that all I said was in vain because a blinded heart simply wants what it wants and because I saw how the look of brokenness in her eyes remained unaffected. And still, I kept going. I kept going, on and on and on.

"You need to stop fighting for him because he probably belongs with someone else and that's something you have no right to take away. You need to stop fighting because if you don't, the pain will destroy you. You need to stop fighting because ten months isn't even a long time. You need to stop fighting because while you're here crying on my shoulder, he's kissing her and I swear and I promise that I'm sorry but this is the truth."

I probably shouldn't have mentioned the part about him kissing her because she started crying again. And the sight of her pain overwhelmed me with sadness so I looked away. I looked away and wondered if I actually cared about this young stranger who opened her heart to me even though she didn't even know my last name. 

Regardless, life goes on, and it stops for nobody. And eventually, it gets better. So, dear reader, if you have loved and lost, or suffered from unrequited love, I hope you know that everything. everything happens for a reason. I also implore you to remember that life is full of surprises, opportunities and distractions. And most importantly, you should know and believe that there is someone you are meant to love and that they are meant to love you back, that you can share a life and family with them, till death do you part. So instead of being sad, look forward to the moment you eyes will meet.

You might meet him very soon.

~

“When I found you, I had not found myself yet, but when I found myself, I had already lost you.” 

Elmar Hussein